My road to crossdressing
Add: 21 March 2016 / 00:00
When I was a teenager, I found an old dress that my sister had thrownout. It was knee length, green, and loose fitting. I took it from the bin and hid it in my room, I just felt I wanted to have it and wear it. The next time I had a bath I took it in with me, put it on, and got in the bath. The feel of the wet dress clinging to my body got me really aroused and after stroking myself all over brought myself to an orgasm. I felt really guilty and only did it a couple more times before throwing the dress out myself and trying to forget what I had done.
Over the next five or six years, I only had a couple of nights when I had put on my girlfriends stockings, and had played with myself. When I eventually left home and got my own place I found myself alone late at night and was feeling really horny. I put on some of my girlfriend stockings and a suspender belt and a bra and her panties. I cannot tell you how amazing that made me feel and it has been a bigger and bigger part of my life ever since.
The night in question was different in another respect because I had this large mirror in a wardrobe that was about six foot high. I wondered what I looked like so, I walked in front of it and looked. I looked amazing and became almost overwhelmed with desire, so I knelt down in front of the mirror and watched myself masturbate. It was so much better than any sex I had ever had and over the years have I have done likewise hundreds of times.
I love wearing lingerie but hadn't gone any further. Then, after yet another marriage break up I decided that I wanted to go for the full girly look. With the help of the wonderful internet, I could get everything I needed on line in secret without the embarrassment of going to shops and buying dresses, lingerie, make up etc. I started dressing with all of it, wig, high heels, nail varnish, jewelry, perfume, sexy lingerie and silky panties [one of my special favorites ] and I have had many, many nights where I am just the secret me.
There is always a sexual element and I started replacing the mirror with a video camera, which has become a big part in my private sexual activities. Where I live going out dressed would not be a good idea as the people are very old fashioned and not accepting of that type of lifestyle. I did used to go for a walk around the block late at night fully dressed and made up a few years ago. It is a safe place to be so I wasn't worried but got a real sense of well being when a car drove past. Thinking that people would think I was a woman on her way home after a night out made me feel great. I did start wanting to go further and a number of years ago started experimenting with sex toys anally but that is another story.
I realise that this whole world has been my own private paradise and has been kept secret. It fills a gap in my life and has been sexually so incredible that I wouldn't stop doing it, it is just too enjoyable. I might eventually find someone who is accepting of this. I find some men very attractive and many women so that is a difficult one to address.