The Good Wife Is Bad - 2
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Add: 18 July 2016 / 00:00
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As soon as I got home I headed for the shower. I felt so guilty and dirty that I just had to wash away the ill feelings and the events of the past two hours. Bryan thankfully was in his office so didn’t hear me come in or distract me on my way to the shower. I was scared that if I saw Bryan he would know that something was up with me. He might start questioning me and interrogating me, and I didn’t know if I could hold up. It being a Friday night, my eldest daughter Zoey was staying at a friend’s house. She and her three other friends had a ‘sleepover club’ and would stay at someone’s house each Friday night. Next Friday it was my turn to host, which I secretly dreaded, although the girls could entertain themselves. All I had to do was tell them to be quiet once it got past eleven pm. My other daughter Sasha was in bed by now so that was a distraction I didn’t have to deal with. I turned the shower onto the hottest possible setting I could handle and stripped down, tying my hair in a messy knot on top of my head. I didn’t even bother to remove my makeup properly. I just got in the shower and stood underneath the mildly scalding water and let it hit me. I washed all over my body; every inch of skin, every crevice of my being was washed. As I washed myself Derek’s semen started dripping from within me, leaving a sticky trail down my inner thighs. I scrubbed that area for a solid five minutes, wanting every trace of him gone from me. I scrubbed my face rigorously, the mixture of makeup and soap stinging my eyes until I wept, except I wasn’t crying because of the soap in my eyes, I was crying because of what I was doing. I was turning into a bad person. I was turning into a woman who was betraying her husband and her marriage. I was becoming someone I hated, someone I didn’t want to be. I was turning into what Derek wanted me to be. Derek, I thought. That man had a hold over me that no one else had ever had before. He was bad for me, I knew this and so did he, but I kept going back to him. The fact that he was so bad for me made it good. I stood under the water for a further ten minutes, scrubbing and washing my body over and over again until my skin was almost glowing red. After I turned off the shower and dried, I dressed into my pyjamas and went to see Bryan in his study, which was where he spent most of his time after dinner. If he wasn’t in the study after dinner then he was usually out of the house. The study was like Bryan’s secret little hovel. It was where he worked or sometimes watched porn, away from me and away from the kids. I didn’t have a problem with it. I knew he did it, he never hid it from me nor attempted to. Sometimes, back in the day, when our sex life was exciting and daring, I had joined him in watching porn in the study when the girls were in bed. A few times we had even had sex in here. But not tonight. Tonight Bryan was sitting at his desk, typing away, working on his thesis, which was all-consuming to him at the moment. At least with him working on this dissertation it was keeping him occupied and he wasn’t paying attention to other things around the house. “Hey,” I said, standing in the doorway of the study, too scared to cross the threshold. Bryan turned around from his computer screen and smiled at me.
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